Sam moved with a certainty he had not had since before his father had taken a nose dive and abandoned them, leaving Sam and Dean to their own devices. "See how well that's gotten us" Sam was letting the darkness and anger that he had been trying to keep at bay since the hell's gate seep into him. It's what he had to do to get himself ready for what he had to do.

Sam then put up the patent Winchester mask that he learned from Dean and Dean had learned from their dad. "Hey Dean," Sam said to his groggy brother that chose to laze in his ruffled sheets still smelling like cheap booze and sex, "I'm going to the local library to do some research, ok." Sam heard him groan an answer into his pillow as Sam grabbed his pack with his computer and headed for the door. "Oh, and get a shower, dude, you smell rank." Sam shut the door just in time to hear a boot hit it. A sad smirk played on his features.

After doing some major hacking and old tomb perusing he found most of what he needed. Then he realized that the closer he got to ganking this Lilith bitch, the more a morbid and rabid fascination at how he was going to end her filled him. He packed up his stuff and his computer and swiped the book he needed from the table stuffing it in his pack. Striding out of the library he saw Dean in the Impala driving up just in time to postpone the next step in his very dangerous plan. But then he really didn't want to leave town without Dean so soon. So he put on his worried yet trying to look unfazed face on as he got in the Impala sliding in next to his older brother.

Dean must have taken his advise because he smelled much better. Then to Dean's surprise Sam looking more tired than he has in a long time turns to him and says, "I could go for a drink right about now. How about you?"

"Sure Sammy." Dean told him with a smirk trying to raise his spirits. "Let's do it." Dean turned the impala towards a bar on the outskirts of town.

Sam needed one last night with his brother that wasn't full of hunting. He just wanted to hang out with his brother right now. Dean was the only thing keeping the anger and hate from completely taking  Sam over. He felt his body pulsate with it. He wanted to rage and get violent with anything that moved, but thankfully his brother's presence kept his common sens intact.

A few minutes later the Winchester boys walked into a dusty bar. Dean walked up to the bar and ordered two beers.

"And a double of Everclear." Sam ordered as he sidled up beside his brother.

Dean gave him an incredulous look  and asked, "When did you start having a taste for the hard stuff?" He watched Sam just glare at him. Noticing something in his little brother's eyes other than annoyance he continued, "I thought you just wanted a beer." as the bartender set down the beers and the shot.

Sam took the shot and downed it in one go letting the burning sensation that filled him give him something to feel other than the darkness growing inside. Then after killing the everclear he picked up the beer and gave a smirk that looked empty even to Dean and took a drink of the beer. "I still want the beer. In fact, bartender a pitcher please." he took the pitcher and went to sit at a table in the corner.

"What's going on with you man?"  Dean asked in a low voice sitting down on the other side.

"I've just been thinking about how very messed up are lives are." Sam stared down into his glass of beer knowing there were no answers there.

"I was wondering when you were going to go all LifeTime on me." Dean scoffed taking another drink.

Sam gave his beer a self loathing grin and replied, "Your right Dean." Sam's head started to pound even harder than it has all day. He downed the rest of his beer hopping to dull the pain. He didn't want to start a fight with his brother right now. Sam unintentionally brought his hand up to his forehead and tried to massage the pain away, unsuccessfully.

After Dean took a swig of his beer he asked, "What's up with your head?" tensing as he remembered all the times that the headaches were a warning that Sam was going to have a pain-filled vision of death. But he thought that Sam hadn't had a vision since he had waisted Yellow Eyes at the Devils gate.

Sam could have slammed his own face into the table when he realized he let himself show his brother he was in pain. He did his best I'm so frustrated sigh. "I'm just so tired of coming up with bub-kiss every time I research about ..." He was getting to good at lying, even letting the sentence die and giving his brother a I'm so broody look wasn't going overboard letting Dean know he was talking about the deal.

Dean's eyes let a bit of disappointment that they still couldn't find anything show before he slammed down the "I'm always alright." mask over his face. "Let's not talk about that tonight. Ok, Sam? Let's just get waisted." Dean replied after killing his beer and getting up for another pitcher.

Another sad smirk graced Sam's lips. The past 3 years with his brother started to replay in his mind. All the times Dean had saved his life or bailed him out of danger raced through his thoughts. Suddenly his attention was grabbed by the juke box starting to play AC DC's Back in Black. He looked up to see his brother playing air guitar by the juke box. Sam smiled for real this time at the sight of his big brother head banging to the 80's mullet rock that he soo loved.

Sam was suddenly very thankful that his brother was occupied at that moment, because a sudden shooting pain raced through his brain. The pain sent a spasm through him and he spilled his beer. "Son of a-" The pain pulsated in his skull so bad his hands were shaking as he fisted them.

Time for drastic mesures. He rose quickly while Dean's attention was caught by a cute blond and told the bartender to give him two double Starry Nights. A mix of everclear and jagermeister. Hard stuff. As soon as the shotglasses hit the counter Sam threw em back, taking his liquor like a pro, both right after another. The thundering in his skull suddenly dulled a good amount and was replaced by a steady buzzing in his head and a burning down his throat and in his gut. Relief flooded him. He didn't even notice Dean beside him before he spoke.

"Dude! What did you just drink?:"

"Starry Night." Sam decided to give his brother a challenging grin and add. "Dude, you gonna be able to keep up with me, Mr 'Let's get waisted'? Cause your doing a piss poor job at it..."

"Are you challenging me to a drink off, Sammy?" Dean's smirk grew wider and mischievous.

"Yeah, but I'll understand if you want to go play the male-slut to that blonds airhead instead if your not up to it." Sam chuckled.

"Dude, male-slut? That hurts.  What's the point of saving the world if you can't get a little nookie once in a while?" Dean gave a shit eating grin. "But nah, I accept your death wish of a challenge." He then turned to the bartender, "A double of The Four Horsemen. Make it two doubles." Dean gave his brother a eyebrow wiggle. "This is going to be fun."